So I Won't Forget...March 2024

3 things I want to remember from the past month

I’m tempted to say I blinked and March passed me by, but I actually trudged my way through it. Even as I type this I’m remembering that there’s a whole week of it left. Why does March seem to have 45 days? Brain fog, lack of motivation, grief, spontaneity, old friends, some beautiful weather, and a puking kid—a few of the things that have colored my month. Thanks for the whiplash, March, I’m not totally sure I want to remember you.

Actually I do because this is one of those months where the work of remembering bears the fruit its meant to bear. It slows time for a moment and proves God is with me. It syncs up the realities of my mundane (or chaotic) outer life with the beauty of what God can do in my inner life if I am willing. The other day I was scrolling my phone and started reading a thread from author/pastor Rich Villodas. He was recalling the experience of being discipled as a young Christian by his aging grandfather and said this:

“I learned from my first days as a Christian, that strong discipleship required unhurried conversation, curiosity, and great patience. Three things that most of us struggle with.”

I was thinking of all the times I don’t engage with myself or other people in these ways. Hurry up, we’re running late. No, because I said so. Do it right now. I reposted the thread and someone who I’d chatted with the day before at a kids birthday party responded to me saying “that’s what you did for me yesterday!” I had followed up with her about a sick family member and listened while our kids asked us to open juice pouches and to “watch this!” The irony of her response was that I had walked away from our conversation wondering if I lingered too long on the topic, asked too many personal questions, or made it harder for her to monitor her kids. Perhaps our culture of hurry and privacy and isolation was so engrained in me that I left a conversation where I had kindly checked in with another human wondering if I actually had done the opposite. I guess not, though, because it turns out people really value being seen and we can’t do that without also being outwardly unhurried, curious, and patient.

I also realized that practicing these qualities inwardly is basically the formula for remembering as a spiritual discipline. I have to slow down the conversation in my own mind and be curious about how the Spirit of God may stir up the things that require reflection. I often need great patience with myself in this process.

So I Won’t Forget #1…Unhurried conversations, curiosity, and great patience.

My aunt and uncle used to own an embroidery business. They have always been what I affectionately call OG entrepreneurs, meaning they started businesses out of their garage, graduated to main street storefronts and ultimately built careers around working for themselves pre-internet. For some intermittent seasons of our teenage years, my sister and I worked for my uncle at his shop trimming threads in between letters on custom embroidery jobs. It was the stuff of epic summers—working indoors under fluorescent lights while blasting whatever was playing on 106.9 KHITS. One such summer (1999 wikipedia tells me), the singing group Destiny’s Child blessed the world with their hit song “Say My Name.” It is a fair estimate to say it was played every third song or at least however many times it took my uncle to know all the words. My sister was a brilliant writer and she was also hilarious. Her grand idea was to re-write the lyrics, change the title to “Sew My Name,” and then perform it for my embroidery-business-owning uncle as a surprise. And much like many of her grand ideas, I was along for the ride and claiming partial credit.

Last weekend my uncle pulled out the original printed copy of “Sew My Name.” We laughed and I cried as we passed it around the table. He had saved it after all these years.

Lauren had the unique ability to combine her intellect with a lot of fun. She didn’t hold back putting effort into something that would be fun or make you laugh and she was always welcoming others into it. My name is on the byline of the song, but I’m confident that was a generous move on her part. Remembering her hard work in transforming this ridiculous, albeit epic song, has left me wondering a lot about fun lately. Is there value in it? And if so, do I have enough of it? Even more, am I inviting others into it?

So I Won’t Forget #2…Fun for the sake of fun. Fun as a means to love others.

Avett’s been collecting empty toilet paper rolls. There are at least twelve rolls on the floor of his room right now. Like most things, it started out small. I’d open one of his drawers to put laundry away and find two or three. The next time the stash had discreetly multiplied. I finally asked him about it.

Me: “Avett, why are there always toilet paper rolls in your desk drawers?”

Avett with an air of confidence: “Because I’m trying to build something…”

His sweet words have followed me around a bit. Of course, I think he’s adorable squirreling away pieces of cardboard so I let the pile stay and I let it grow. I even resisted the urge to throw it away while he was at school which any mom will tell you has required great self-restraint. And I’m fully planning to sing the praises of whatever robot or tower or rocket he builds with it all. Tonight I was pulling his curtains closed and trying not to crush some of the rolls with my feet. As I tiptoed around them, I had the thought: what am I building? One way or another I am also collecting things, but without a proper inventory, I wonder if the things are the stuff of earth or the stuff of heaven. Am I building something that will last and if not, should I let God throw it away while I’m at school?

These aren’t the questions I intend to answer today. I’ll take inventory in the weeks to come, but what I will do is cherish the reminder prompted by the important work of childhood and the important work of adulthood: building things.

So I Won’t Forget #3…Avett’s collection of toilet paper rolls and the good work of building.

If you’ve made it all the way to the end, you’ve undoubtedly found an error or two either in my grammar or my typing. I’ll humbly submit to you that this was written over the course of day filled with more interruptions than my brain could possibly hold. Truly, one paragraph included four trips upstairs to look for a Lego. Progress not perfection, am I right?

I’ll leave you with a few thoughts to ponder. Are you operating from hurry, certainty, or impatience? How could you slow down and open your hands and take a really big deep breath? One way to slow down might include a bit of fun, the kind that combines something you’re really good at and something that brings people in. And finally, what are you building? Are you collecting the right supplies? Maybe take stock this week or let me know in the comments. :)

In the coming weeks of We Have This Hope, you’re going to hear from a linguist in Papua New Guinea and an author who writes about how facing death with loved ones transforms us. These women are compelling and I can’t wait to share their stories with you!